What Matters Most on Father’s Day

I was recently interviewed by DETAILS Magazine about Father’s Day and Fatherhood. One of the questions was about the meaning of fatherhood and how fathers are portrayed on TV and more importantly, in society as a whole. I was asked if there was a father figure from TV that I remembered or that stuck out in my mind. I felt like I was taking an Alzheimer’s quiz…



So I thought about it. And then I remembered growing up in Southern California and the role models I saw on TV and what mattered most to me. First, I recalled a TV show called The Courtship of Eddie's Father with Bill Bixby. I think this was the first time I learned about the life of a widower. What I liked about this show was that there was a moment at the beginning and end of every show where father and son spoke in a philosophical way to each other - kind of like a “zen moment” between them. They were learning from each other and I thought it was an interesting relationship. I liked the simplicity of the show. I don’t really remember the individual episodes or how he became a widower, but I really didn’t need to know the details. I was completely focused on the bonding between father and son. (Yes, I know there was a Japanese nanny, but I didn’t really put the two together!)

From my adolescence, I remembered Little House on the Prairie, Sanford and Son, Chico and the Man, The Brady Bunch, and Happy Days. These shows had a variety of father figures but they all had an active father role and I liked that. As I continued to talk about these shows, I realized that I was going off rack in my interview. The writer wanted something more current like the father figures of Al Bundy or Homer Simpson, characters that were heavily portrayed as bad, out-of-touch fathers. In addition, they wanted me to comment on the more recent role of Bruce Jenner on the reality TV show, Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I thought about the family going to Las Vegas, without Bruce who had to stay home for a scheduled doctor’s visit to get a colonoscopy! My legs crossed and my mouth dropped. All I could say was, “That’s one sad state of a family and I am sure they don’t know what kind of message they are sending out to their TV viewers.” I couldn’t hold back my feelings in that interview.

When I left the interview, I realized how today’s TV fathers have so little in common with what reality is like. I am sure you can have the same argument for TV mothers as well. Granted, I am not the perfect father. In fact, I am far from perfect and I am grateful for the mistakes I have made. The lessons that I have learned have taught me about myself and how to be a better dad. What matters most in my life is that I get up every day knowing that I am not perfect. I am willing to learn from my children about how to communicate as the father in my family. Whether you are married, re-married, widowed, newly divorced or a single father with children, we all have a common goal in life: To be the best dad we can be and to being proud of the legacy we create every day of our lives.

I can remember this very topic of conversation with my own father about fatherhood. My Father is a great man. I love and respect him very much. When I was young, he had to work 6 days a week to provide for the five of us. I always knew he was present in my life. When I played sports, I could always count on him being there. If it was a tennis match, I could see him in the back court. If it was baseball, he was always past the outfield fence. If it was soccer, I could always count on him cheering me on. In school, he was always asking questions about my studies and encouraging me to be the first in my family to earn a college degree.

At times when I was in college, he felt unsure about his ability to support me financially. I remember the talk we had at graduation and how guilty he sounded when we discussed how I had put myself through college and worked a full time job. As my father shared his feelings, I listened attentively and waited for my turn to speak. I looked right back into his eyes, and I told him, “Dad, you never let me down, you and mom were always with me. You taught me everything I needed to know to be prepared for college and the responsibilities of life. You did the best you could and you did a great job as my father. You have given me the tools to be a great dad to my children and that gift is priceless.”

So on this Father’s Day, I want all of us to look back and look forward to being the best fathers we can be. Know that you are doing the best you can do each and every day. What matters most is that fatherhood is an experience in learning, communicating and feeling. Richard J Jaramillo

DIFFA’S DINING BY DESIGN 2009

Please sign up to volunteer for DIFFA and the upcoming DYD in NYC.
DIFFA is Design Industries Foundation Fighting AIDS.
It is a great cause and you will get karma brownie points.

DIFFA’S DINING BY DESIGN 2009

World's Most Expensive Divorce

Mr Ecclestone paid $$1 Billion dollars for "stress and anxiety"

In court documents, Slavica Ecclestone said her husband's behavior "has caused me stress and anxiety."

Bernie Ecclestone the top dog at Formula One is forking over a cool billion to his STBX wife. Slavica said he caused her stress and anxiety. He has most of the property in the name of his STBX-wife because of tax reasons, so he doesn't stand a prayer of not paying this amount and then some.

Do I have any takers who would trade some "stress and anxiety" for a billion dollars??

Mistresses can claim alimony under new laws

Mistresses can now claim income maintenance, property and even superannuation funds under the Family Law Amendment (De Facto Financial Matters and Other Measures), dubbed the "mistress laws", which were passed by the Senate last November and came into effect today (March 1).

The main objective is to remove same-sex discrimination from the Family Court system, but they have left the door open for a raft of de facto relationship claims.

Read this story in the Aussie paper and Wow!!!. Guys it is definitely cheaper to keep her and be faithful, because paying alimony to your wife and mistress will send you to the homeless shelter quick fast and in a hurry.

Source

FREE Divorce Planning Teleconference

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With the home-mortgage crisis in the U.S. wreaking havoc in the real estate and banking industries, its affect is now trickling down into other areas, such as divorce. Under the current market conditions, breaking up is harder to do than ever.

Many couples are forced to live under the same roof because they can't afford to move on separately. They can’t unload their houses for enough money to pay off their mortgages and home-equity debts, but job losses and tougher mortgage standards make it harder to afford splitting them, too.

That is why we have created a FREE workshop that takes some of the uncertainty out of the process.
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Big Pretty Things

I love big pretty shiny things. This is Giya speakers. It is a musical instrument and a beautiful sculpture. Buy one of these and invite me over for cigars and a glass of Kelt.

For Gods Sake. Can WE Change The Script?

Men are evil cheaters. Women are virginal victims.

Starting over after divorce.

The first rule is to treat yourself well. If you have been thru the bruising that calls itself the justice system, then you deserve a mental health break. Spend a few days relaxing in an environment you enjoy. Just don't spend too many night at Scores or Spearmint Rhino, gentlemen show moderation in all things.

Make sure you get a physical, good health is essential for a bright future. Take it slow and steady you have made it thru the storm.

I have no words....

Marriage may be about love, but divorce is definitely about money!

The credit crunch is putting the squeeze on the marriages of the super wealthy as a record number of couples with $10 million or more in assets sue for divorce. One financial trader confessed that he had to disguise the collapse of his fortune, from $20m to $8m, by borrowing heavily so that his wife could keep up her high-spending habit. If she were to suspect he was worth only $8m, he feared she would immediately sue for divorce.

I really have no words for this level of stupidity. He really needs to grow a pair and get himself a 8 million dollar woman instead.

Read Em and Weep.

•There are numerous agencies, social support services and infrastructure geared to supporting women transitioning thru divorce. There is a Divorce University for women yet no similar organization exists for men.

•Divorced Men are 10 times more likely than women to commit suicide. Men who don't commit suicide are often depressed, but they cover up the depression by quickly remarrying to fill the void. These men also tend to overwork, drink or gamble too much.

•Professional athletes have a 80 percent divorce rate. No one provides resources on how these athletes can keep their families. No one helps them to divorce without damage.

•Men are being abandoned with children or gaining custody of children, and lack the support systems that women have.

• In Southern California the divorce rate is believed to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 60-75%.

•65% of divorces are initiated by women. December 2003 AARP survey, 66 percent of women reported that they asked for the divorce, compared with 41 percent of men. Men more often than women were caught off-guard by their divorce (the news blind-sided 26 percent of men, compared with 14 percent of women).

•75% of all divorced people re-marry, half of them within three years. Fifty percent of first marriages, 67 percent of second and 74 percent of third marriages end in divorce.


We love the gossip and tawdriness of the 76 million dollar divorce, the cheating and money fights, but at the end of the day behind these statistics there are millions of families and men who need support.

How To Save A Marriage On Valentine's Day

Attention Guys!!

Here are 3 tips to help keep you from becoming a Hemancipation client.
Not that I wouldn't love to have you as a client, but romance is better.

1. Call Noka and order the Grand Cru Collection, surprise her with chocolate, and champagne.

2. Bukiety flowers are always intoxicating. Get something unique.

3. Romance is a simple feeling best expressed lavishly. Head to Milliken Creek Inn and Spa for some Pillow Talk, and if you are on the East Coast head to Blackberry Farm.

4. Lingerie is a win win. Head to Agent Provocateur for some sensual lingerie, you will enjoy the shopping.

5. Grab a bottle of Yalumba The Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon Shiraz 1998 it is deep inky red with a very deep rich scent.

Enjoy the day and the night to come.

Zero Sum Game

6th Commandment
Thou shalt not turn your divorce into a contact sport. You get zero points for being adversarial and no home court advantage, just more opportunities for turnovers.

No Begging Allowed

This is the 5th Commandment
5. Thou shalt not spend the next six months trying to get your wife to change her mind. You’ve been FIRED, move on. You can't run to the other huddle once the ref has blown the whistle. Remember the First Commandment.

Honor your sons and daughters

This is the 4th Divorce Commandment

Honor your sons and daughters: fatherhood is a blessing. Nurture,protect and financially support your children. Thy progeny shall under no circumstances be used as a political football, despite such antics by other parties. Looking back in 20 years all that will matter to you from this sordid chapter is how you treated the kids, and how they came out of it.

Banish your bare-bones bachelor appearance.

Have a personal style question or interior design conundrum? Have you recently ended a relationship looking for a new start but your bedroom is scaring your dates?

Please send me your questions. . . we want to hear from you!

Send e-mail questions, comments, insults or complaints to michelle@hisdesigner.com

Welcome Mr. President!

Take time out to honor and recognize, President Barack Hussein Obama, the 44th President of the United States of America.

Divorce Emergency Response Kit 2

Use for 24 hours of support in case of divorce emergency.

This divorce emergency kit contains materials which will allow a man to deal with the sudden discomfort of receiving a divorce petition. The kit deals with the immediate pain of the divorce emergency until the person can see a qualified Hemancipation Lifestyle Consultant.

CONTENTS

1. HEMANCIPATION business card (2)
2. Jack Daniels Whisky (1)
3. Glass (1)
4. Maxim (1)
5. Diamond Dollars (100)
6. Rhino Tips (100)

Emergency Instructions
Remain calm, be quiet.
Do not commence begging, pleading or confessing.
Follow this Emergency Response Plan.
Use the supplies in this kit for the first 24 hours of a divorce emergency.


1) Take Deep Breaths: You feel weak, shell shocked, like the ground has fallen out from under you. You may have an increased rate of breathing, possibly shallow, possibly deep and irregular. These are normal symptoms. Breathe!


2) Signal in an Emergency: Call Hemancipation, speak to a lifestyle consultant; make an appointment for the next day. Call your attorney. If you do not have one, Hemancipation will recommend one.

3) Keep Well Hydrated: Sit down and drink a few shots of Jack Daniels

4) Treat Minor Injuries: Your feel like hell so
• Get a limo driver. Call Savoya, 1.866.472.8692
• Read your Maxim while you wait.
• Head to Spearmint Rhino or Scores, use your Tips & Dollars.

HEMANCIPATION is on the way!

Tips For Divorced Dads

Although both men and women can face a difficult period of transition following the break-up of a marriage, men often have a more difficult time reorganizing their lives after divorce. Because women typically retain custody of the children and residence of the marital home, men face the dual challenge of adjusting to their new parental role and making a new home. Here are some helpful tips to make the transition to a new home easier for you and your children:
Ensure that child has their own space in your home
Sleeping on a sofa/floor or in an open area is not conducive to having your child feel stable in your home. For teen girls, make sure there are little mini containers in the bathroom for her personal affects.

Invite your children to help with decorating their room.
Your child can pick paint colors, posters, and toys to decorate the room. If you keep a second set of their favorite items, clothes, toys, games, etc. it eliminates the drama of forgotten toys and clothes while transferring from mom's place to dad's place. It will help your child to feel secure and make visits less traumatic.


Leather Love is a good thing
Your preference for leather works well with children because it is a great fabric that is easily cleaned of minor spills. Leather furnishings create a comfortable masculine space and your child can bring their favorite pet for the weekend because leather does not collect pet hair.

Scrutinize your home for items that may be a danger to your children
Look around your home; is it clean and comfortable? Take an inventory of items that may be issue- glass tables, sharp edges on furniture, cleaning supplies under the cabinet, stairs without a stair guard, etc. If you have toddlers, crawl around on the floor to see what they see at their eye level.

Make sure you have photographs of your children
If you have remarried and have children with your new wife, make sure there are photographs of all your children. For dads handy with a computer, use your children pictures to create the screensaver on your home computer. It’s a nice touch; and if you are not computer literate, you can ask your child to do it. They will enjoy the task and appreciate the attention from dad.

Ensure that your children have space to do homework.
Even if you are living in a small space, make sure there is a desk or area for the child to work. Sign up for your child’s’ school newsletter to stay involved in their activities. Most schools have online sites, so check out the school calendar.

Has any wealthy man ever won a divorce case?

I have been searching for a while and have not found the case of a wealthy man winning his divorce in a courtroom, and in the court of public opinion. I keep searching..............But so far the roster doesn't look good for the next man with money in divorce court.

Has any wealthy man ever won his divorce case?
>> Not Charlie Sheen (porn, violence, hookers, drugs). Their toddlers are in therapy. Price Tag $25 million

>> Not Paul McCartney (drugs, alcohol, violence). Price Tag $47.5 million cash plus. He lost custody of their toddler, and will go down in history as the Doormat Beatle. He will also have to pay $70,000 a year in alimony for the couple’s four-year-old daughter, as well as school and nanny fees.

>> Not Greg Norman (adulterer trying to squeeze his wife dry - cutting off her credit cards, changing the locks on their $21 million Jupiter, Fla., home and firing her housekeeper. wife stealer) Price Tag $103 million

>> Not Jude Law (Sleeping with the nanny) Price Tag $$Everything. The 33-year-old said he "lost everything" after splitting from the brunette in 2003. Sadie won the couple's plush £2 million London home. She also netted a reputed £4 million payment and £15,000 a month, according to The Sun. "I lost everything in order to get the right to visit my children. My bank account is therefore almost always empty,"

>> Not Bill Murray (drug-addicted spousal abuser and serial adulterer who abandoned his family). Price tag $ 7 million cash plus

>> Not Hulk Hogan (found out his wife was divorcing him from a reporter). STBX wife sleeping with a 19 year old. Price tag TBD


>> Not Peter Cook (sex-obsessed, two-timing narcissist weeping on the stand while confessing his sexual shenanigans, which included spending 3,000 dollars a month on Internet pornography and masturbating live for a cyber audience via Web Cam ) Price Tag: Lost custody of his child.

>> Not Michael Jordan (adultery, gambling, paternity tests) Price tag $168 Million cash plus

Marriage is about love; divorce is about money! When it is time for divorce women own the " I AM A VICTIM" hat and men with money are ATMs.

Divorce Commandment #3

Silence is Golden.
Keep this Hemancipation Warning holy: when in doubt…zip it!
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney so make sure you get one.